Mystery Worshipper

The following article appeared in the Mystery Worshipper section of online Christian magazine Ship of Fools.

Mystery Worshipper: Brick.
The church: Trinity, Page Moss, Liverpool, England.
Denomination: Joint Methodist-Anglican.
The building: Outside, brick and boring. Inside, the sanctuary is fairly traditional with carved altar and communion rails - however, this can be partitioned off to give a plain and functional hall. Overall quite bright.
The church: In the past this has been one of the most vandalized churches in the UK. The congregation dwindled but the nearby church of St Bartholemew's in Roby stepped in to help. Although they still have problems with vandalism, things are going better.
The cast: Leader: Mrs Marion Hawley (acredited worship leader). Preacher: Rev. Andrew Colmer, who is about to move on to a new parish in Bootle. The church's minister is Church Army Captain Philip Clark.

What was the name of the service?
It was the main weekly service - there is only one.

How full was the building?
The seating area was about half full, but they had space for about half as many more chairs.

Did anyone welcome you personally?
Not until after the service, when a couple of people came to talk with me over tea.

Was your pew comfortable?
The seats are mainly those comfortable, solid types that are getting more common now; however, in the back row were pews.

How would you describe the pre-service atmosphere?
While not espicially noisy, people were chatting.

What were the exact opening words of the service?
"Good morning and welcome to the service. especially if you are here visiting or for the first time."

What books did the congregation use during the service?
One song book: Songs of Fellowship. The Bible reading was dramatized.

What musical instruments were played?
Organ and piano.

Did anything distract you?
The PA system, while good equipment, was not well set up. There was lots of handling noise from the mikes, which were not adjusted to the different people speaking.

Was the worship stiff-upper-lip, happy clappy, or what?
Upbeat, but not to the extent that people clapped. The kids and some of the adults did actions to one of the songs.

Exactly how long was the sermon?
Half an hour.

On a scale of 1-10, how good was the preacher?
8 - I've never thought that "I've been asked to speak about x, is that right?" is the best way to start a sermon.

In a nutshell, what was the sermon about?
"Thou shalt not covet", and ways to avoid yearning for things we do not have.

Which part of the service was like being in heaven?
The dramatized reading was good, although I'm sure they hadn't rehearsed!

And which part was like being in... er... the other place?
The PA system.

What happened when you hung around after the service looking lost?
For quite a while nobody came to talk to me. It was obvious that practically everyone is involved in the church and so they were all sorting out stuff. Later people did come and were very friendly.

How would you describe the after-service coffee?
Tea. Quite good really. With Chocolate brownies which were very nice.

How would you feel about making this church your regular (where 10 = ecstatic, 0 = terminal)?
8 - A lot of the focus is on youth work for the kids of the area, which is very rough. I feel I'd get dragged into that, and I'm not interested!

Did the service make you feel glad to be a Christian?
Yes, but not outstandingly.

What one thing will you remember about all this in seven days' time?
God was given a German accent in the reading.